Exercise, Healthy Eating, Life Journey, Mental Wellbeing, Targets, Weight Loss, Weight Watchers

A Quarter-Challenge

I went to my new meeting. It was fabulous. It is indeed very small, and everyone is so supportive of each other. Because I’ve moved about a fair bit, I’ve attended a lot of different meetings. I can usually tell straight away whether I’m going to like it or not, and I knew the second I sat down in the little room that it was going to be splendid.

One of the things it did was lift my mood, and for the first time in weeks I’m beginning to feel better about myself. It feels nice. Getting up and getting on each day feels easier. I want to go out more and I’m becoming less irritable. In my normal pattern, this ‘up’ episode usually begins around the clocks changing at the end of March and I think the early turn is due to going back to Weight Watchers. That sounds a little dramatic, but sometimes isolation in large doses can skew your thinking more, and having a group of people who share your struggle can just be enough to knock you in the right direction.

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One of our farm walks – what’s not to like?

Having turned the proverbial corner, my mind has floated towards my weight loss and my holiday at the beginning of June. I tried on some of my holiday clothes that I kept from waaay back – I got rid of most of them when I started to slim down. The ones that were left were all too tight to put on. In most of the major/nice times in my life, I can tell you what weight I was, and my last holiday abroad was a long time ago and I was 13st dead.

That’s where we’re going.

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My last holiday ~ 13st

The funny thing about it was how big I remember feeling then. There are no bikini photos, any time I stood up I put a sarong on and even now I still can’t stand the sight of my legs in shorts in those pictures.

But I was healthy then and still in my 20s. I wasn’t even aware I had any problems with my reproductive organs, let alone in agony waiting for surgery. I’ve come through a lot since and the thought of being back at 13st right now is delicious.

So I have 12 weeks. A quarter of a year. My challenge is to get to 13st by the night before my flight. Funnily enough, my class happens to be the night before I go. Once again, I feel like the gods are trying to help me as best they can.

That works out at a little more than a 1lb per week for the next 12 weeks – a goal that is not unreasonable. Every week I will set a different intention to help me get there. If anyone wants to join me, feel free – I’d love to hear how you get on.

Week one for me is about assessing my fitness routine. At the moment most of my exercise is covered by walking my dogs round the farm and mixed yoga practice most days. At some point in the next twelve weeks I’m hoping that will change. I’m a keen runner but a old dodgy knee injury will not carry me up and down the rough trails on the farm at my current weight. If all goes to plan, I should reach my ‘safe’ running weight sometime in the course of this challenge.

If I can establish a baseline fitpoint achievement this week, that will allow me to set myself minimum standards and increase it as I get lighter and fitter (again).  So this week I aim to track all of my activity using my Weight Watchers app.

It’s so nice to have found a bit of hope and motivation again, and have someone tell you that yes, you can do it, yes, it is feasible and yes, help is at hand. We can all do this, one week at a time and with a little help from some friends.

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Weight Loss

Groundhog Day

If I believed in God, I’d say he’s trying to tell me something…

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I’m holding my hands up. I’m lost. Out at sea. Falling by the wayside. I could have a million reasons and motivations to want to lose weight, and I’m pretty sure I do, but they’ve left me. I’m hoping it’s temporary, but my determination is at zero.

As I reach for a bottle of wine to while away an evening with a book, it’s as if my mind shuts down and selectively blocks out things like alcohol, or anything else calorific for that matter. I seem to turn into someone who no longer gives a s**t about what I look like, what people think or the state of my health. Shortly after disposing of said consumable(s), there I find myself back in the prison of guilt, torturing myself over and over and regretting ever having gone near the corkscrew in the first place.

Well. Some higher being soon put a stop to that, didn’t they?  I have a history of snapping hand-held tools… I took the handle clean off my Denman hairbrush not so long ago. Even so, I can’t help but think that some force or deity or whatever is trying to give me the kick up the arse that I need. Problem is, I’m wearing padded cycling shorts.

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When the corkscrew snapped, I should have called it quits. I didn’t really need the wine anyway. Unfortunately I’m a stubborn and resourceful little so-and-so, therefore more than capable of fashioning a makeshift corkscrew. (Did you know there’s more than 10 ways to open wine with no corkscrew? Seriously, Google it.) Bye-bye wine.

So as I sit here writing at my lovely desk (sober), I’m trying to figure out a way to bump myself out of this horrendous cycle. I stayed the same weighing in this week, and I just feel that I’m stuck in some sort of Groundhog Day and nothing I do seems to let me move on. I looked back longingly at pictures taken back in 2014 when I was  on my way to being a ‘normal’ weight again, and it seems like a pipe dream. I know a few more lbs would be enough allow me to get back out running, which in turn would help regulate my mood thus improving my weight loss attitude and getting me back into that positive cycle again.

I know there’s no magic formula, but if I happen to figure it out, I’ll let you know.

 

Exercise

The Little Things (NSVs)

I had a funny incident. It was funny because no-one else saw me, but it made me think about all the other weird little things that happen as you lose weight and the things that make you notice a difference – those non-scale victories.

For many people it’s the simple things: The next hole over on a belt. A shirt fastening that never used to. Personally I like the more quirky ones…

I’m at the point now with my yoga where I’m getting more flexible, and I realized this bending down to hoover under a shoe rack some weeks ago. But this has brought with it a new problem. The problem is my fat. It’s preventing me doing stuff. I’ve always had massive quad muscles  (even as a slim person) and there are certain restrictions that places on you (like fitting into skinny jeans and crossing your legs.)  It’s fine, and I’ve dealt with it, but the quads issue has spread to the rest of my body during the festive/quit-smoking period. I want to bend further to extend my poses, but my fat is actually, physically stopping me from doing so.  I refer to the funny incident – I had to come out of a yoga pose or else I was going to suffocate. I’m not kidding. I’ve jokingly said about choking on my chest before, but good god, I didn’t actually expect it to happen…

My rolls of belly fat were compressed against my generous thighs whilst leaning forward, which acted like a sort-of built-in wonderbra. This resulted in my face disappearing in to my ample bosom which was shoved up to an unnaturally pert position. Although everything was technically right in terms of my yoga posture, it was so very, very wrong. So what did I do? Stayed put for as long as possible, of course. I did try and stick it out until it was time to change positions, but when the room started spinning I thought I’d better get up.

I’ve decided that I’d really like that yoga position to be a future NSV.