It’s something I’ve sadly got used to. Due to moving about a lot, I’ve constantly been thrust into new situations, often on my own. Wednesday saw my return to Weight Watchers. I picked a class some weeks ago and mentally geared myself up. I’ve missed it, but with moving and associated job/farming stresses I knew I wasn’t ready before that point.
Some of my longer-term readers may remember me describing the experience of walking into class not long after I started this blog three years ago – I was a mess. Nervous, ashamed at the weight that had crept on and lonely. I nearly didn’t go in at all, and I’d driven ten miles to get there.
Similarly, when I moved to England I felt the same. I wasn’t in a good place mentally and physically my health was poor – I had the weight of surgery hanging over me and could barely walk the length of myself. My experience of my first class there was less than comforting. I’d just like to point out that the leader and her helper were both lovely, but I really was an ‘outsider’ – no-one spoke to me, or even smiled at The New Girl. Even after weeks of going I still felt uncomfortable.
You can imagine the thoughts that ran through my brain as I walked in to yet another new class this week, with another new leader. ‘Here we go again’. I wasn’t the psychological mess that I have been in the past, but I was still ‘jangly’. I had absolutely nothing to worry about. The minute I stepped through the door of the little scout hall, everyone turned and looked and smiled. Lots of people said hello, asked if I was new, and the leader approached me straight away. I felt at ease instantly, chatting with some of the people in the weigh-in queue and after the ‘talk’ (Which, btw, involved a cooking demonstration and some dubiously acquired disposable gloves). I even left the meeting with a recommendation for a dentist!
I make no secret of the fact that I long for stability, routine, and a chance to get a good run at my weight-loss again. Knowing that a further move is unlikely (hurray!) definitely contributed to my mindset before going to the meeting and I can see myself losing week after week on those particular scales, in that room full of people. It’s such a nice feeling.
That applies to the other areas of my life, too – I’ve coped considerably better with all the ‘new’ things I’ve had to deal with since the move. In England, I was practically a recluse. I worked from home and only ventured out to the local shop and my WWs meeting. The thought of having to go through another ‘new’ experience reduced me to a sweating, nauseated bundle of nerves. I did the weekly food shop online. Just over a month since I’ve moved here, I’ve been out and about exploring, and actually enjoying the new experiences. The anxiety has still been there, but at a much more manageable level. It’s amazing the difference it makes being somewhere that you like and knowing it might be long term. I’m excited now to lose the half stone I’ve put on from the move to get out there, get running (again) and get some more silver sevens under my belt.
And hopefully it’s the last time I’m going to be the ‘New Girl’.