Life Journey, Mental Wellbeing

Packing Ninja

In February my life flipped in a different direction again. James got offered more or less the perfect job. So here I am boxing up my little world again for another adventure. I tell ya, I’m getting mighty good at this packing malarkey. I’ve done this routine 5 times in three and a half years, and haven’t had two consecutive Christmases in the same property since 2006. I could give some military wives a run for their money. It doesn’t make it any less of a stressful process, though. The logistics of moving jobs, animals, belongings etc still has to be done in a timely fashion.

This time feels different though. Firstly, I actually want to move this time. Secondly, the new place is amazing. It’s in a beautiful part of the country, and I feel much more at home already than I ever did in the previous two places. I’m kinda frightened to say it, but I think this might be it.

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I came to this cautious conclusion as I sauntered down the trails on the new farm, exploring the leafy tunnels. My brain is heaving a collective sigh of relief as is the psychological warrior in me.  It occurred to me that at my healthiest, both physically and mentally, was when I was happy in my surroundings and felt secure in my home. It was when I’d stayed in the same place for 2 years. Maybe that might happen again. Hopefully. It’s very difficult to achieve that secure feeling in the position we are in. When you work in agriculture, it’s a lifestyle, not a job. James manages farms. If you want to do that you really need to be on the farm 24/7 – so somewhere to live is often provided. As a ‘farmer’s wife’ you tend to get roped in to helping, regardless of whether you want to or not, or whether you have your own job. We’ve done a proper job on it this time, landing right in the middle of the calving and lambing period. Talk about in at the deep end! Luckily, I like that side of it. It’s a massive ask to be able to get absolutely everything right though – not only does the job have to be right for James, but I still have to be geographically well-placed for my own job, as well as being happy with the house being provided. The size, quality and condition of tied houses can swing wildly from one extreme to the other.  A new job basically  means a new life. If any aspect is wide of the mark, it can have disastrous consequences, and if you make the decision to call it a day, you are automatically moving house.  And this is why I’m cautious.

The first night I stayed at the new house I was the most chilled-out I’ve been in 18 months, so I’m taking that as a good indication. All I want is to settle now, give myself a chance to get to know my surroundings and give myself the chance to really get well again. I don’t think that’s much to ask- but hey, if it doesn’t work out, at least I’m a ninja when it comes time to pack up again.

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