Weigh-in: 1.5lbs Loss
I’ve been working up to this post for days. I’ve had a horrible week, between a lack of smoking and making a bad choice as far as WWs goes. I can only attribute my 1.5 lbs to the fact that I’ve had a reasonably good week running-wise and have enjoyed all my runs apart from the Fearsome Fartlek.
I’m now 6 weeks from race day, and am enjoying 10-mile long runs, and fast 5ks , with a slow 7-miler chucked in for good measure on the advice of IM. What I’m still failing to remotely enjoy is the hill/Fartlek session. My performance is improving (I can actually adhere to the pace changes now) but I don’t get any satisfaction out of it, and I’m proper knackered at the end. I mean really done in. This week I got absolutely drenched halfway in, and by the time I finished I had no idea whether I was soaked in sweat or rainwater – I was quite glad I hadn’t had music with me, or headphones/musical device would have been a bin job.
There were positives to come out of this, however. Due to the driving rain I couldn’t see my watch, so had no idea of my heart rate or pace, which made me concentrate more on my pace changes and how I felt my perceived effort levels were. Teamed with having no music, I spent the session ‘naked’ and completely focused on my effort, form and breathing. I’ll definitely be doing this again and have decided not to run the race with earphones in.
I’ve made it to two weeks of abstinence. My first day back at work was stressful, (new surroundings, new people and new cows!) and the dairyman smoked in front of me. I didn’t know whether to hug him or choke him. It smelled SO GOOD. I also did what I used to do with food when I was stressed- binge. On the way home, I caught myself doing the familiar thing of looking for somewhere to stop, but this time to buy cigarettes and matches, not food. Funny how some habits stay the same?
I sped home in quick time, and was so relieved to be in the house. At home is a ‘safe’ place now, as there are no temptations and I feel no urge to smoke when I’m in the house. I realised that I’ve kind of been ‘hiding’ at home to stay away from cigarettes and that I’m going to have to integrate myself back into society at some point. I suppose work will be the first step.
I still can’t admit that I feel any ‘healthier’ for stopping, but that will take time. My sense of smell is improving, and I’ve also found out I actually don’t like Doritos! I’ve only ever eaten cheese Doritos as a smoker, and I’ve always loved them. I now realise that they have a horrible, artificial aftertaste and they ain’t all that. Being pretty hefty in ProPoints, I suppose this is a good thing! So my taste buds must be returning to their former glory too……..
Oh man. This has been tough. LOVING my Saturday weekly class, so nice to have a regular meeting. I was given the option of Simple Start at my meeting- a two-week programme to give the weight-loss a great start to the New Year. I looked through it, and it smacked of Healthy and Filling. I do not like Healthy and Filling. I have no mechanism in my brain that tells me I’m full. At my heaviest, I’d eat until I was gagging and sometimes until I was physically sick. I need the portion control of weighing and measuring and counting ProPoints. With simple start, you can eat as much as you want from a restricted food list, and are allowed two little treats a day.
My leader persuaded me to give it a go, and as you can see, I lost weight this week. I did say I was going to see it through the full two weeks. I’m not. And here’s why:
Yep, I lost 1.5 lbs. Great. First week back after a holiday? You are kidding, right? My first week of WWs I lost 8lbs. I’ve always been a person that loses a lot the first week back. Last return after a holiday I’d put on 6 lbs and took it straight back off again in a week. What happened this week was not normal, especially since I ran nearly 30 miles this week. I know my body, and this tells me I overate all week.
More importantly, I worried all week about food. It took over my life. I couldn’t sleep for worrying and trying to justify what I’d eaten to myself. Today I went back to pro pointing. I’m going to try and salvage what’s left of my week and stick to what works for me. There is no point ( hah! That was actually an unintended pun) in trying to do something that makes you uncomfortable and miserable.
I also felt deprived. Flora on my crumpet is a ‘treat’? Get out. If I have a pint of beer I can’t have any flora? Stop it. For the first time in YEARS I felt as if I was on a diet. Restricted. I know it is only meant as a temporary measure, but I’d really like the last week and a half of my life back and to be able to ProPoint from the first day- I can say for sure I’d have seen a better loss at the scales this week and I wouldn’t be trying to salvage what’s left of this week.
I’m glad I tried, and I know now that if I get fed up counting, weighing and measuring that I can have a H &F day once in a while and it’s not going to derail my efforts, but it’s not going to be a regular gig for me.
Do what’s right for you, folks- it’s good to mix things up a bit, but go with your instinct- it’s probably right.